The caribou conflict

Originally from the lush forests of his distant, cold homeland, Jacques Caribou shows no courtesy to the squires, whose slightest misstep earns him bitter contempt.

Jacques Caribou serves as Senior Advisor for the equestrian section of Vassal Pius, the kingdom's only official newspaper. Former champion of the year of grace 1197, he is as famous for his knowledge as he is for his outspokenness.

JACQUES CARIBOU Among the knights of Formula Oats, some seem destined to complain daily, their remorse intertwined with their own standards, having never learned the right way to maneuver. Ah, Max the Minimus, my scapegoat, who, at seventeen, dared to tread the forbidden sand of the tracks. Although aided by innate gifts, his audacity sometimes pushes him toward reckless power plays. Yet he manages to avoid the worst pitfalls, and the crowd renounces any legitimate complaints. Did you see him on Sunday, in the middle of the straight, facing Pastor the Madman—whom I have, of course, studied at length—performing acrobatic feats? We saw him brush with disaster three times! And now we move on to the next fool—Olaf Kimi. Finn, could you explain why you've been inactive for two years? Time has erased the pride of your talent. You are now nothing more than a relic chasing past glory; of all the hopes you have sown, you will reap only an incense burner handy for holding the ashes of your talent. And Mate the Queen… What can I say? Nothing, really. Better to laugh about it. In winter, they proclaimed, “The king is back. ” Today we say, “Gentlemen, the king is naked.” Let us reflect: who else among my phrases should I denounce for their errors and wounds? Think of those who denigrate the hand that fed them for four years without a single scratch. Look at the glowing Bison, who shouts loudly without ever questioning his sins. Should Taïaut be designated as a scapegoat? Not all evil comes from arbitrary oats. In this world below, destinies change and fortunes waver. The squire who seeks to master this sabbath condemns himself to forging his own fragile disgrace.