Räikkönen: comeback or retirement?

“Here we go again!” laments Olaf Kimi, the once powerful Finn, now a weakened giant frozen in ice, who spent the winter drinking vodka, while Fer Effaré, deeply disappointed, no longer expects anything from the fallen titan.

Maurizio Arrivadernier has just taken up his post as rector of Fer Effaré, tasked with the impossible job of getting a long-amputated horse back into the saddle. The Count of Moncet wonders where the great man has gone, while the troubadour sings: “Where has the champion gone who thrilled the cheering crowds? ” He has not fled the court or returned to a distant land; he is still there, but on his knees, constantly drawing anger upon himself. Last season was a grueling ordeal that could have turned a colossus into a crippled assassin.

When Kimi limits his alcohol consumption to a reasonable amount, he manages to avoid his famous blackouts. Rumors claim that Olaf has converted; could he finally be free of his addiction to good wine? MAURIZIO ARRIVADERNIER No! Basta, che schifo! But I must be delirious!

You promised us, dear helmsman, that you would give up this unworthy passion, that you would break with this execrable drink! OLAF KIMI Ah, yes. I did promise that. It was agreed that a drunkard would give up tasting fine wines! But who could believe a thirsty drunkard who claims to be sober when he is nothing but a drunkard?

MAURIZIO ARRIVADERNIER No! Enough, how boring! What's stopping me from sending away a man who is a slave to drink? From immediately sending away a valiant Rabelaisian who shamelessly admits to his joyful scandal? OLAF KIMI Didn't you know? Let me help you. It's a small contract, plus compensation. MAURIZIO ARRIVADERNIER Ha! Damn you, Olaf! Go back to Lucifer! I have something more horrible than arbitrary torture for you: you will go to hell, and to make you suffer, I have the SF15-T. It will be your martyrdom.

OLAF KIMI How horrible! O almighty Lord, I beg you! That would have caused concern even in the wind tunnel, to the point that its designers now speak ill of it: I understand only too well what our men say about it. MAURIZIO ARRIVADERNIER (seeing the Savior arrive) Oh! Kaiser Sebastian! We are all delighted to see a potentate among the Fer Effaré! KAISER SEBASTIAN A mule for a mount, a drunkard for an ally… What mess have I gotten myself into?