When you’re begging, you can’t afford to be picky.

fanf1
When you’re begging, you can’t afford to be picky.
Credit: FanF1

After disparaging Taïaut horses, Buffle Rougeoyant now feels like a husband forced to take back his ex-wife. Could redemption come from Huedada oats?

Godefroy de Taffin oversees the Taïaut horses and was deeply disappointed by the inaugural parades of the stables that took his six palfreys. Canon Adrien is the chief manufacturer of the Buffle Rougeyant stable, answering only to Archbishop Dietrich, a man who made his fortune in beer. Monseigneur Ron Delé is the rector of Mate la Reine and must forge a Holy Alliance between Mate la Reine and Huedada to reconquer the heavens. THE COUNT OF MONCET

The past is cruel to former prophets in a lame cosmos. Eight consecutive victories forged the pride of the greatest conquests and seemed to guarantee eternal glory for the Red Buffalos, who believed themselves blessed. Today, the emptiness of his breath has tarnished the esteem that the paddock held for these irritable whiners, soon to be isolated.

CANON ADRIEN Please, sir! We need oats to race next year in Formula… ARCHBISHOP DIETRICH Hey! I am not unaware of the rhyme you saw. (Please admit that it was very common.) I'm going to see a friend who avoids me. CANON ADRIEN That friend who thinks he's the divine Neptune? ARCHBISHOP DIETRICH Don't interrupt me! I hate that! GODEFROY DE TAFFIN Then why, sir, are you terminating our contracts?
ARCHBISHOP DIETRICH Ah, but…! Ha, Godefroy! Godefroy, what a joy to see you among us in this world below. Have you deigned to come down to earth and leave the clouds to settle our affairs? GODEFROY DE TAFFIN The day before, a thousand insults poured from your mouth; not a word you said was kind. Now you flatter the raven like a fox, alarmed by the extent of your delays. How ironic, Dietrich! Here you are begging for what you despised yesterday. ARCHBISHOP DIETRICH Come now, my dear friend! The past is futile when the future of our four carriages is at stake. Do you want more than our alms chests? Would you like to own a Spanish castle? We want everything; we can do anything; we give everything. I say it on my knees: help us, save us. GODEFROY DE TAFFIN Ah! How touching. The archbishop begging for what he once refused. Well, let's think about it. Do you want to survive? You'll have to accept our wishes now. You will have oats; rotten oats from yesterday or another year. CANON ADRIEN Despite our engineers, despite our coffers filled with gold, we would be reduced to the rank of the two Manor Houses. ARCHBISHOP DIETRICH By Jove, no! Impossible! Inhuman! Unbelievable! So I will go and find my stable in Japan. (He goes to Japan.) Monsignor Rondelé! What are you doing here? Isn't this the seat of Huedada? MONSEIGNEUR RON DELÉ (in tears, carrying chrysanthemums) It is indeed the place, alas! And that is why I weep!

ARCHBISHOP DIETRICH But why are you weeping? And what are these flowers for? MONSEIGNEUR RON DELÉ You see, Huedada wanted to announce to me that they had finally finished harvesting their oats. Wonderful, I thought! At last, we triumph; soon, they will stop calling us fools. But Huedada brought only minor reforms and eighteen trifles. These flowers, Dietrich, are for our coming mourning. We bury Woking in his dark coffin. (Neptune was also the god of horses.)